Your last line 😂 Brilliant! At 51, I got eyed up and down in an Italian supermarket this year by a hot guy who looked early 20s. Absolutely made my day. Gotta get our kicks where we can 😆
So much of this rings true. When I entered a room in my 20s and 30s I got a rush of excitement as I was checked out by the male gaze. Now I’m 58 the cat is the only one who gazes at me, waiting for a stroke or a treat. The times my stunning 22 year old daughter and handsome 20 year old son come to visit, I scamper alongside them feeling like a tatty old hedgehog.
I want to tell them this is not ME. I am not their old mum.
I weep and moan at my menopausal thinning hair and eye bags. And I am so upset that I STILL value myself for what I look like, not for my mind.
Getting over getting old when you are a woman is bloody hard.
This is great writing and so freaking relatable. There are no many benefits to being an invisible ninja woman. It's so easy to forget being that poor girl in the train.
Being just passed my 3 score years and 10, I no longer think of myself as attractive. When I get up in the mornings and look in the mirror, I think to myself “did I really sleep with that” 😆. I’ve let my hair go grey, actually I prefer silver, simply because I can’t be arsed doing my roots every few weeks. The only person that sees me looking like I’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards is the Postie. But, which boosted my confidence somewhat, a couple of months ago I went out for lunch to celebrate my birthday. I was dressed up, hair blow dried and straightened, and makeup 💄 done to perfection. The Postie delivering a parcel to the flat next door said “fly me, I didn’t recognise you, you certainly scrub up really well”😊. The BFF said when I told her “you’ve still got it girl”. Compliments indeed 😆!
This was wonderful. I have started to feel like this already at 35. I was one of those effortlessly attractive women when younger, on behalf on genes I didn’t earn. Scouted by modeling agencies during random Saturday city walks in my teens, having the weight of the attention(but also the benefit) that comes with it all. Life has been tough the last few years and even my genes couldn’t withstand the pressure of time and harsh circumstances. I thought that invisibility will be a relief. I truly feel safer now and more free to exist in the world, but this feeling has been creeping in. It’s the feeling of lacking a currency. Just a part of aging, and something to process. Thank you for helping with that.
Thank you for this. It’s hard to talk about and acknowledge because we’re not supposed to feel like this, somehow, even though as girls we’re groomed almost from birth to be deeply invested in physical approval. There’s a grievance to getting older that we want to deny rather than experience.
The joy in being older is noticing and being noticed by the really interesting people. Older women! They are the people you really enjoy and who you want to have notice you, so you can have those rewarding conversations. Dress for them - signal that you are interesting and interested.
Even walking with my tall handsome son, all eyes are on him, and I’m thinking….” I made him, he’s a product of me!’…..just look closely….you’ll see the resemblance….nah? Ok, don’t bother!😉
You lost me at 1979.
I’m 15 years older!
Smile. Often and with dazzle 😊
Haha, yes. Funny how we become supposedly ‘past it’ (horrible phrase, which I obviously rebuke!) when we’re still objectively young.
Your last line 😂 Brilliant! At 51, I got eyed up and down in an Italian supermarket this year by a hot guy who looked early 20s. Absolutely made my day. Gotta get our kicks where we can 😆
Ha!
This is truly excellent 💜
It sure is! Loved every word. Thank you for bringing it, and Jayne, into my feed and life.
Thank you Anna. That’s very kind.
Thank you so much!
What a lovely article. I especially love the but where you sit down next to the young men. 👌👌👌
Even more hilarious 🤣
Thanks! Though they weren’t young. In fact, they were older than me!
So much of this rings true. When I entered a room in my 20s and 30s I got a rush of excitement as I was checked out by the male gaze. Now I’m 58 the cat is the only one who gazes at me, waiting for a stroke or a treat. The times my stunning 22 year old daughter and handsome 20 year old son come to visit, I scamper alongside them feeling like a tatty old hedgehog.
I want to tell them this is not ME. I am not their old mum.
I weep and moan at my menopausal thinning hair and eye bags. And I am so upset that I STILL value myself for what I look like, not for my mind.
Getting over getting old when you are a woman is bloody hard.
It’s a particular grief isn’t it? I’m still at the start of it. Trying to find reasons to be hopeful!
This is great writing and so freaking relatable. There are no many benefits to being an invisible ninja woman. It's so easy to forget being that poor girl in the train.
Yes. I wouldn’t swap with her. 🙁
Fabulous piece…. And I don’t know you at all but you sound very fanciable still!
Hahaha! Thank you. I’ve always relied on the kindness on midlife women 👌🏻😉
Beautifully written! Truly wonderful!
Thank you Sian.
Being just passed my 3 score years and 10, I no longer think of myself as attractive. When I get up in the mornings and look in the mirror, I think to myself “did I really sleep with that” 😆. I’ve let my hair go grey, actually I prefer silver, simply because I can’t be arsed doing my roots every few weeks. The only person that sees me looking like I’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards is the Postie. But, which boosted my confidence somewhat, a couple of months ago I went out for lunch to celebrate my birthday. I was dressed up, hair blow dried and straightened, and makeup 💄 done to perfection. The Postie delivering a parcel to the flat next door said “fly me, I didn’t recognise you, you certainly scrub up really well”😊. The BFF said when I told her “you’ve still got it girl”. Compliments indeed 😆!
You write beautifully
Thank you.
Oh my God. 🤣
Excellent timing, 54 on Saturday (and feeling every year of it) and I really needed this post. You are hilarious! Such a gifted writer.
Thank you so much!
This was wonderful. I have started to feel like this already at 35. I was one of those effortlessly attractive women when younger, on behalf on genes I didn’t earn. Scouted by modeling agencies during random Saturday city walks in my teens, having the weight of the attention(but also the benefit) that comes with it all. Life has been tough the last few years and even my genes couldn’t withstand the pressure of time and harsh circumstances. I thought that invisibility will be a relief. I truly feel safer now and more free to exist in the world, but this feeling has been creeping in. It’s the feeling of lacking a currency. Just a part of aging, and something to process. Thank you for helping with that.
Thank you for this. It’s hard to talk about and acknowledge because we’re not supposed to feel like this, somehow, even though as girls we’re groomed almost from birth to be deeply invested in physical approval. There’s a grievance to getting older that we want to deny rather than experience.
The awakening for me was walking down the road with my daughter, then 27 and all eyes were on her.
My daughter’s are 16 and 20, and this awakening has come much sooner for me.
Maybe it was already happening and I was choosing to ignore it. Maybe I’ll just walk with my son and stay in denial 😊
The joy in being older is noticing and being noticed by the really interesting people. Older women! They are the people you really enjoy and who you want to have notice you, so you can have those rewarding conversations. Dress for them - signal that you are interesting and interested.
Older women are my favourite people, by a mile.
I recognise this, and I have no daughters.
Yes, you definitely don’t need to have daughters to recognise it!
Even walking with my tall handsome son, all eyes are on him, and I’m thinking….” I made him, he’s a product of me!’…..just look closely….you’ll see the resemblance….nah? Ok, don’t bother!😉
Haha!
spot on mind chat